This Is How It Feels

To have a look inside the book, watch the video by either clicking on the image above, or at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iazqwwJOons

This Is How It Feels grew from people across Aotearoa generously sharing their lived experiences of mental distress through art, storytelling, and poetry. Together, these voices create something honest, moving, and deeply human, reminding readers that they are not alone, and helping those who support them to better understand.

This project has been carried by community from the very beginning. The contributors and team have given their time, creativity, and care so the book is now complete and ready to print, with no costs so far. We are now asking for support to help cover the printing and distribution of books to be gifted to the places where they can make the greatest difference throughout Aotearoa.  Places like school counselling spaces and mental health services.

Every $10 donated means one book can be gifted to a space where it can be read, passed on, and returned to, supporting many people over time.

Donations are eligible for a 33% tax refund.

The real team is the contributors - a range of poets, artists, and writers - some already established in the field, and others who would claim not to be creatives.

Then there is the team that has donated their time and expertise to putting together this book:

Adrian Price is Team Lead for an Adult Community Mental Health Service.  He has experience of distress as well as a graphic designer.

Wiremu Gray is a counsellor, cultural consultant, and director of Mana Facilitation.  He is also a board member for the Youth Hub, Christchurch.

Dave Hart is an ICT professional and a passionate photographer.

Shannon Spencer is an award-winning writer and social worker. 

Heidi McIlroy is an educator, mental health advocate and survivor who had this wee seed of an idea that a book like this might help others.  She let the seed take root and grow and this has led us here.

The contributors and team behind this book have all donated their time and expertise to get the book to the point of being ready to print.  I am raising money to go towards the costs of printing and distributing the book.   By raising this money we will be able to gift this book to a range of places where it can be a valuable resource.  Places such as school counselling offices, and mental health services.  Places where people who are suffering from mental distress, and those who support them, can pick up the book and feel less alone and gain more understanding.

This is a 250 page paperback book filled with paintings, photos, drawings, poetry, and writings from a range of New Zealanders.  

‘This Is How It Feels’ is a book that brings together the voices of people with lived experiences of mental and emotional distress. These are our words, our feelings, and our reflections. The hope is that in this collection of writing and art, readers will find something that speaks to them – something that shows they are not ‘broken’ or ‘defective’, and that they are definitely not alone.

Contributors to this book cover the spectrum of age, gender, culture and orientation. The writings and art reflect this. This is not a book of diagnoses or treatment plans. Rather, it is an authentic and honest look from the inside at distress and common responses to it. By sharing our thoughts and feelings, we want to show that even when it feels too hard, there are ways through mental and emotional distress.  We offer our journeys as possible maps for others.

Often people who are suffering from mental distress feel different, broken, or ashamed for what they're going through.  This book lets them know that they are not the only one. And they are not wrong for feeling how they feel.  Mental and emotional distress doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you bad, it does not make you less. It makes you human.

 This is a space where they can feel seen. That moment of reading someone else’s words and thinking, ‘That’s me. That’s how I feel.’ That moment where shame begins to loosen its grip, and you remember that you are not alone in this.  

To those who walk through this kind of distress may the section on what's beneath remind you that your responses are human. They are understandable. They are nothing to be ashamed of. You are not bad, or broken. You are responding to deep pain, in the best way you know how.

 These stories are also here to offer insight especially for those who love and care for us. To help them walk with us not in judgment, but in love and understanding. 

I hope that in reading the section about what helps, people will see that although it can be hard to find what works, it is worth the search.  The journey is incredibly difficult, and is not a straight line to recovery. What works one day may not work the next. But it is so much better than staying put.

Knowledge and awareness of mental health challenges will be grown as a result of reading this book, attitudes are likely to be shifted and inclusive behaviours encouraged.